最幽默風趣英文(英語幽默短句)
1.英語幽默短句
Money is not everything. There's Mastercard and Visa. 鈔票不是萬能的，畢竟有時還需要信用卡。
One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每個人都應該熱愛動物，因為它們很好吃。 Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要節(jié)約用水，所以盡量和女友一起洗澡。
Love the neighbor. But don't get caught. 要用心去愛你的鄰居，不過不要讓她的老公知道。 Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more. 每個成功男人的背后，都有一個女人。
每個不成功男人的背后，都有兩個或更多。 Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快樂的單身漢遲早也會結婚，畢竟幸福不是永久的嘛。
The wise never marry. 聰明人都是未婚的。 Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一個相關名詞，它會給你帶來很多不相關的親戚。
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. 不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。 Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 愛情就像照片，需要大量的暗房時間來培養(yǎng)。
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后座上的小孩會生出意外，后座上的意外會生出小孩。 "Your future depends on your dreams."So go to sleep. 現(xiàn)在的夢想決定著你的將來，所以，還是再睡一會吧。
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 應該有更好的方式開始新的一天，而不是千篇一律地在每個上午都醒來。 "Hard work never killed any body."But why take the risk？ 努力工作不會導致死亡。
但為什么要冒險呢？。
2.幽默風趣的一些英語句子
1. Money is not everything. There's Mastercard and Visa. 鈔票不是萬能的，畢竟有時還需要信用卡。
2. One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每個人都應該熱愛動物，因為它們很好吃。 3. Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要節(jié)約用水，所以盡量和女友一起洗澡。
4. Love the neighbor. But don't get caught. 要用心去愛你的鄰居，不過不要讓她的老公知道。 5. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more. 每個成功男人的背后，都有一個女人。
每個不成功男人的背后，都有兩個或更多。 6. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快樂的單身漢遲早也會結婚，畢竟幸福不是永久的嘛。
7. The wise never marry,and when they marry they become otherwise.. 聰明人都是未婚的，結婚的人很難再聰明起來。 8. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一個相關名詞，它會給你帶來很多不相關的親戚。
9. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. 不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。 10. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 愛情就像照片，需要大量的暗房時間來培養(yǎng)。
11. Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后座上的小孩會生出意外，后座上的意外會生出小孩。 12. "Your future depends on your dreams."So go to sleep. 現(xiàn)在的夢想決定著你的將來，所以，還是再睡一會吧。
13. There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 應該有更好的方式開始新的一天，而不是千篇一律地在每個上午都醒來。 14. Hard work never killed any body.But why take the risk？ 努力工作不會導致死亡。
但為什么要冒險呢？ 15. “Work fascinates me.“ I can look at it for hours！ 工作好有意思耶！尤其是看著別人工作。 16. God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 神決定了誰是你的親戚，幸運的是在選擇朋友方面他給了你留了余地。
17. When two's company, three's the result！ 兩個人的狀態(tài)是不穩(wěn)定的，三個人才是！ 18. A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 服飾就象鐵絲網，它阻止你冒然行動但并不妨礙你盡情的觀看。 19. The more you learn, the more you know;The more you know, the more you forget;The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. 學的越多，知道的越多， 知道的越多，忘記的越多， 忘記的越多，知道的越少， 為什么學來著。
參考整理于網絡。
3.英語幽默短句100個
1. Money is not everything. There's Mastercard and Visa.
鈔票不是萬能的，畢竟有時還需要信用卡。
2. One should love animals. They are so tasty.
每個人都應該熱愛動物，因為它們很好吃。
3. Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
要節(jié)約用水，所以盡量和女友一起洗澡。
4. Love the neighbor. But don't get caught.
要用心去愛你的鄰居，不過不要讓她的老公知道。
5. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more.
每個成功男人的背后，都有一個女人。每個不成功男人的背后，都有兩個或更多。
6. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
再快樂的單身漢遲早也會結婚，畢竟幸福不是永久的嘛。
7. The wise never marry,and when they marry they become otherwise..
聰明人都是未婚的，結婚的人很難再聰明起來。
8. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
成功是一個相關名詞，它會給你帶來很多不相關的親戚。
9. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
10. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
愛情就像照片，需要大量的暗房時間來培養(yǎng)。
4.求英文幽默簡短的句子
The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn? Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. Hard work never killed anybody. But why take the risk? Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 夠暸嗎？。
5.能給幾個搞笑又經典的英文句子
The nice men are ugly.好男人不帥。
The handsome men are not nice.帥男人不好。The handsome and nice men are gay.又帥又好的男人是同性戀。
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.又帥又好又不是同性戀的男人都結婚了。Men who are not so handsome but are nice men have no money.不是很帥但是很好的男人卻沒有錢。
The men who are not so handsome but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.不是很帥但是又好又有錢的男人會認為我們看上的是他們的錢。The handsome men without money are after our money.而沒有錢但是很帥的男人看上的是我們的錢。
The handsome men, who are not so nice and some what heterosexual don't think we are beautiful enough.不是很好但是很帥又是異性戀的男人卻嫌我們不夠漂亮。The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money are cowards.又好又有錢又是異性戀又覺得我們漂亮的男人卻又沒膽量。
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE！又好又帥又有點錢而且是個異性戀的男人偏偏害羞而且從不采取行動。The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest on us when we take the initiative.那些從不主動的男人一旦我們采取主動就對我們失去興趣。
NOW。WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTaNDS MEN？現(xiàn)在。
到底有誰了解男人這東西？。
6.誰能幫我找一些既有哲理又有很幽默的語段 英文（附翻譯）也行
Dr. Swift and the Boy
A wealthy old lady who lived near Dr Swift rsed to send him presents occasionally by her servang Dr Swift took thi lady's presents but never gave the boy anything for hes trouble. One day as Swift was busy with his writing, the boy rushed into sweft's room, knocked some books ort of the books' place,threw his parcdl on the desk and said ,"my mistress has sent you two of her rabbits."
Swift turned round and said ,
my boy, that is not the way to deliver your parcel Now,you sit in my chair, watch my way of doing it and learn your losson "
The boy sat down. Swift went out ,knocked on swift's door and waited Hhe boy said "Come in" The doctor entered, walked to his desk and said, "If you please sir, my mistress sends her kind regards and hopes you will accept these rabbits which her son shot this morning in their fidlds "
The boy answered, "Thank you ,my boy. Give your mistress and her son dr.swift's thanks for their kindness and here is two shillings for yourself."
The Doctor laughed,and after that,swift nener forgot to give the boy his tip.
斯威夫特博士與小廝
啊斯維特博士家附近，有一位富有的老婦人，她時常打發(fā)仆人給他送禮物。斯威夫特博士接受她的禮物，但從不給小廝任何酬謝。一天，斯維特博士正忙著寫東西，小廝沖進了他的房間，把書一扒拉，將一個包裹仍在書桌上，說道：“我的女主人送給你兩只兔子。”
斯威特轉過身來說：“孩子，包裹可不是這樣送法呀。現(xiàn)在，你坐在我的椅子上，看看我是怎么送的，并要記取這個教訓?！?/p>
小廝坐了下來，斯威特走出去，敲了敲門，等待回音。小廝說“進來?！辈┦窟M了門，坐到桌子旁說道：“先生，我的女主人向您致以親切的問候，并希望您收下這些兔子，這是她的兒子今天早上在地里打的?！?/p>
小廝回答說：“謝謝你，我的孩子。向你的女主人和她的兒子致謝，謝謝他們的關心。這兩個先令是送給你本人的。”
博士笑了，打那以后，斯威特從沒忘記送小費給小廝。
7.英語幽默短句
1) I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
我愛你，不是因為你是一個怎樣的人，而是因為我喜歡與你在一起時的感覺。
2) No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
沒有人值得你流淚，值得讓你這么做的人不會讓你哭泣。
3) The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
失去某人，最糟糕的莫過于，他近在身旁，卻猶如遠在天邊。
4) Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
縱然傷心，也不要愁眉不展，因為你不知是誰會愛上你的笑容。
5) To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
對于世界而言，你是一個人；但是對于某個人，你是他的整個世界。
6) Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
不要為那些不愿在你身上花費時間的人而浪費你的時間。
7) Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
愛你的人如果沒有按你所希望的方式來愛你，那并不代表他們沒有全心全意地愛你。
8) Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
不要著急，最好的總會在最不經意的時候出現(xiàn)。
9) Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
在遇到夢中人之前，上天也許會安排我們先遇到別的人；在我們終于遇見心儀的人時，便應當心存感激。
10) Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
不要因為結束而哭泣，微笑吧，為你的曾經擁有。
